June 20th, 2012
Here's the story as we see it:
A lone, bleary-eyed intern sat at his desk, sifting through stack upon unending stack of busy work. Redundant office memos, nonsensical correspondence, and rows upon columns of mind-numbing spreadsheets. Long gone were any hopes of fortune and glory reaped through aiding the development team behind the Expendables 2 game. Those sweet fantasies had died a cold, whimpering death. Suffocated by a flood of fluorescent office-lighting and choked by reams of copy paper. Until today.
How the game manual made it's way to the young interns desk was never made entirely clear. Perhaps a sinister move of petty cruelty. Perhaps a mistyped address label. Perhaps fate... Whatever the agent, as the young intern flipped casually through the pages what was surely the only copy of The Expendables game manual in existence, the golden-hued dreams of fortune and glory returned, washing over him in a single instant. A tingling baptism of hope realized. But who would believe such a turn of fortune?
In a single deft move, the intern's phone was in hand, ready to shoot. Soft, electronic shutter-clicks filled the cavernous space, echoing in the darkness like the unanswered mating calls of some exotic cave-dwelling insect. Snikk. Snikk.
I must send these to the guys at KarateMart! They have the necessary means to make these images known. To make my awesomeness known!
A flurry of swipes across a smartphone touchscreen was all that it took to send the images to their intended destination. With painful care, the intern wiped the manual of all signs of his presence and placed it back in the exact position in which he had discovered it. He then took an early lunch.
Of course, what you have just read is both slightly embellished and an outright lie. In fact, not a word of what you just read is true. But still, we hope you enjoy the following 'fake' Expendables 2 manual pages as much as we do.
